What Does the Australians Governments National Apology for Institutional Child Sexual Abuse Mean? : By Mairead Ashcroft 20/10/18

In 2012 I created a Moving Art piece in which I made a large, wooden crucifix. On this crucifix was

placed the main words of my impact statement, embossed in metal, pagan symbols of strength and child protection, a black arm band in respect for those who have taken their own lives and a small pair of little girls shoes to represent me at the age the I was first sexually abused. Accompanying my crucifix were two banners which said, "The Impact of Childhood Sexual Abuse"and "The Crucifixion of Innocence". 

I Walked my crucifix from Federation Square to St Patrick's Cathedral on Good Friday,along with supportive friends. We gathered a crowd on our journey, arriving near the gates just in time for the Arch Bishop and his Cardinals to witness our peaceful but poignant protest against the Catholic Churches lack of action in dealing with their abhorrent behavior by covering up and supporting criminals. 
It is now 20th October 2018 and we have undergone a Victorian inquiry and a Royal Commission. I undertook the grueling task of participating in both in the hope for change. Today I have had the honour to participated in a pilgrimage in Ballarat, a place where an enormous number of survivors have come forward and also a place many grieve due to suicides, largely in response  to the disrespectful way that these victims have been treated, not only as abused children, but also in the aggressive and sickening ways that their needs have been ignored and the way that the Catholic Church has lied and gotten away with it, over and over. 
A small but influential group met at the Healing Remembrance Garden of St Patrick's College out of respect for the devastating abuses that took place in Ballarat on innocent children over many many

years, followed by blatant cover ups that survivors have come to know all too well. The walk, organized by ex-priest Michael Parer, was joined by The Loud Fence Movement : which began in Ballarat and has traveled internationally, placing ribbons in memory and in support of those who have been abused by members of the Catholic Church and others, Moving Towards Justice: Ballarat based Sexual Abuse Victims Support Group and For the Innocents : A group of people, some current ans ex clergy, who confront clergy sexual abuse in support of their victims, of which I have been a member of for seven years now and gladly offer my viewpoint as survivor, counsellor and woman.
So now the Australian Government is saying sorry. I personally do not find this 22nd October National Apology to be a time for celebration or a sign of respect for survivors but yet another form of abuse of power from those who are seen to be doing the right thing,while the voiceless, struggling and vulnerable are expected to be grateful for the crumbs. I will walk this pilgrimage in support of my fellow survivors and those who are no longer with us and raise awareness of the futility of the apology.

The reason why I claim futility, is because although, "Adult retrospective studies show that 1 in 4 women and 1 in 6 men were sexually abused before the age of 18" (Dube, S., Anda, R., Whitfield, C., Brown, D., Felitti, V., Dong, M., & Giles, W., 2005; Center for Disease Control and Prevention, 2006;)  , our government still lacks provisions for mental health support, still ignores the financial impacts that this kind of trauma has on individuals, their families and the health of the community at large and continues to use face value, feel good band aid effect jargon, such as this apology and expects us to buy into it.

As a Survivor, citizen and mental health practitioner, I want to know what this apology means.

• What are the government going to do about creating more beds for mental health patients 
• When will patients be able to access 24 hr mental health care, because it is often at night when P.T.S.D and other symptoms rear their horrifying heads?
• Why does the redress scheme need to be so emotionally and psychologically difficult for survivors of sexual abuse to receive the small funds that are on offer and why are victims of physical abuse offered nothing?
• Why are sentences so short for such debilitating crimes? 
• What was the point of putting survivors through the grueling and painful task of the Victorian Inquiry and Royal Commission into Institutional Responses to Child Sexual Abuse if they are going to allow the very institutions investigated, make up their own rules. e,g the Catholic Church refusing mandatory reporting of child abuse in the confessional, and now they have the cheek to say that they will not employ gay teachers and refuse gay children. This is against Australian laws of discrimination and they should not be above our laws. If they were an Islamic faith making such antiquated demands, I'm sure there would be outrage among the people of Australia.
• Have the government considered the feelings of those who experience sexual abuse by family members, close associates or strangers in this apology and how this event may effect those who are still being abused but feel that they have no escape?

I believe that until true changes have taken place, this apology means nothing.

I walked in protest of the current state of affairs and in hope that with awareness, things can improve and suicide prevention rates, substance abuse recovery and child safety education will improve to the point that we no longer witness the epidemics that we see today. 

Today we stood united in our support for All Survivors and All of those in need of support. Some gathered in the name of their god and others gathered under the power of their own love. Either way, our intentions were and are true and our righteous anger was electric. There were goose-bump moments and heart breaking tears, followed by supportive smiles and hugs all around as our grief still lingered, but each of us continues to work towards hope, healing, strength and understanding. 

If you are distressed by the content of this blog and need immediate assistance, please call the mental health support line in your area .
If You live in Australia you can call 000 if you are in immediate danger of harm or call

• Life Line Suicide Prevention 13 11 14
• Sexual Assault Crisis Line 1800 806 292
• SANE Helpline 1800 18 7263

Please take care of yourself and your loved ones.

Live your Bliss

Mairead