The cost of caring in a therapeutic counselling relationship. Mairead Ashcroft 14/9/15

I have chosen to work a caring profession. Being a counsellor is not a career to take lightly as with it comes responsibility not only for my clients while in session but also for myself. Vicarious trauma can burn a counsellor out and worse, result in poor mental and physical health for the counsellor.

I am a "Wounded Healer" a term created by psychologist Carl Jung. He speaks of a person who recognizes internal pain in another because of one's own experiences of their own internal pain. The healer may then feel compelled to connect with that person in order to help that individual discover a way to become free of emotional and psychological pain. The healing journey of the counsellor can offer insights and promote an empathetic, professional, therapeutic relationship but only when the counsellor has journeyed into the abyss of their own painful personal story. When a counsellor avoids the difficulties of being authentic, transparent and is unwilling to face their own personal challenges, the client can easily trigger the counsellor's own dilemmas. The counsellor is more at risk of experience countertransference due to unexplored, unconscious feelings rising up as a result of the content of the clients shared emotional and psychological material. 

Countertransference is a term used when emotions between the client and the counsellor become entangled. The counsellor might not have the ability to understand which elements of a story belong to them or belong to the client.  Lines can become blurred, boundaries can be broken and volatile, confusing communication might occur. The counsellor might unconsciously take on the client's pain or experience triggering of their own unresolved emotions. Imagine if this were to occur often. The emotional weight may be unbearable and the therapeutic relationship could possibly be damaging or the client and therapist alike.

It is impossible for a counsellor to never be affected by personal challenging life experiences during some periods of their lives. We are humans and with humanity comes suffering. To love and be loved is to be vulnerable and throughout history, humanity has loved. 

A good counsellor will acknowledge their humanity, embrace their vulnerabilities and nurture their own inner strength. Human relationship is an ever evolving entity with as many varied nuances as there are humans on this earth. We are all unique beings, we may have flaws and we might have vulnerabilities. Relationship with self is precious and like relationships with others, needs tending. Individuals who work in the helping professions are encouraged to continue personal development and attend supervision. Without an outlet for sensitive and difficult material, the content and emotions felt with a clients can become toxic. Using correct professional, confidential supervision can enable personal insights which can in turn, enhance the therapeutic relationship.
Live your Bliss
Mairead