Mentally Strong People - What does this mean? Mairead Ashcroft 23/4/16

Every person on this earth faces challenges. Some challenges may create a little inconvenience in every day life for an individual while for another it may be more difficult, e.g. forgetting where you have put the keys to the car. Other challenges may seem catastrophic and even a life                                                  

threatening experiences to one person or an average life experience to another,e.g.  protecting your children while living in a war zone. 
I am no expert on what elements consciousness are instinctual and what parts are learned or practised. I cannot even attempt to discuss where "inner strength" comes from but I do feel qualified to share with you stories that I have witnessed concerning some of the bravest people that I have ever met. They will not be in news headlines, they won't receive medals and many, in fact, might be seen by those in "Normal" society as being of weak character and/or nature. 
Sports people are often praised for their Mental Toughness, "Having the natural or developed psychological edge that enables you to: generally, cope better than your opponents with the many demands (competition, training, lifestyle) that sport places on a performer; specifically, be more consistent and better than your opponents in remaining determined, focused, confident, and in control under pressure." (Jones, Hanton, & Connaughton, 2002, p. 209) 

In Psychological terms mental strength is defined by a persons resilience. According to Wikipedia Psychological resilience is defined as "an individual's ability to properly adapt to stress and adversity. Stress and adversity can come in the shape of family or relationship problems, health problems, or workplace and financial worries, among others. In other words, resilience is one's ability to bounce back from a negative experience with "competent functioning". Resilience is not a rare ability; in reality, it is found in the average individual and it can be learned and developed by virtually anyone. Resilience should be considered a process, rather than a trait to be had. It is a process of individuation through a structured system with gradual discovery of personal & unique abilities" 
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychological_resilience
I work in mental health at a major inner city hospital as a Peer Suppor Specialist and I witness mentally strong people every day. There are stoic people with high pain tolerance, those who grit there teeth and hold in their tears when supporting a loved one and staff who endure long hours, tragic

stories and sometimes abuse from patients and then come back for more the next day. These are not the people that I am referring to althought they do deserve celebrating. I am astounded by the strength of those who feel that their lives are not worth living but continue to show up day, after day, after day. I am in awe of the person who, after a 20 year heroine habit, has been clean for six months and is terrified beyond their wits that they are going to inject again at any moment. Sitting beside someone who, only minutes before, has self harmed, overdosed or behaved in a manner outside their control, and then asks for help to learn to manage the situation the next time (because there probably will be a next time), are the bravest and strongest people that I know. For these people, in times of prolonged distress it can often seem to be a battle field of dread and anxiety just to get a glimpse of what another type of life could be like.  Some of the bravest and strongest people are those that you may pass on the street going about their daily business or those sleeping rough. I have learned to never assume that I know anything at all about another persons personal story, their battles and their

triumphs. I have also learned to never compare achievements, all should be appreciated and celebrated, no matter how big or seemingly small. 

Human have been to outer space, explored the earth, seas and stars. We are scientists, artists and philosophers, athletes, lovers and carers but for someone who suffers with agoraphobia for example, life greatest challenge may be to come to an appointment with a member of my team. Just for a moment, can you imagine what it might feel like to walk out the front door despite the fact that you truly believe that you may die while doing so.Would you open your front door if it meant that some one was going to push you off a 100 meter cliff onto jagged rocks? Would you cross the road if you knew that once you reached the other side, all of you family would die? Would you catch a bus if it meant that you will be willingly walking in front of a line firing rifles?   These fears, although unreasonable to the general population, are the types of fears that some face every moment of their lives. Does this make them mentally weak? 

I don't think so. I think that some people can experience blocks that can disable them from participating in the world in the way that they would prefer but they are still alive, still participating, despite the major obstacles that are in their way. If this means that leaving their bed is an achievement then leaving their bed should be appreciated and celebrated. I think that my greatest dilemma about the term Mentally Strong is that within western culture we tends to look at life in dualistic terms. Sadly the term "Mentally Strong" is thrown around in conversation with out appreciation of the possibility that there may be a negative element hooked into the term.  Black - white, good - bad and the possible inference of Strong - Weak.  Life is a spectrum to be cherished not judged or graded. Life ebbs and flows and some with times of calm and others of hardship. What might seem a major challenge to one person might be perceived as minor to another and visa versa. I believe that much of a persons coping strategies may be influenced by a persons life history, biological health, philosophy, demographics and mental health. No one has ever travelled the same path as another and no one ever will. I feel it is important to appreciate that as humans we all need each other listen, empathise or to just be there. Life is not about competing, it is about living.

Live your Bliss
Mairead