Terror, Tears, Trials and Triumph. 2015, A year that has enabled new beginnings and solidified me. Mairead Ashcroft 30/12/15

What a year !!! It was a time of tumultuous self understanding and extreme life experiences. It was a time of love, sadness, confusion, victory and joy. The year began with my knowing that after 16 long, long years, I would finally face my childhood sexual abuser, Brother Bernard Hartman from the Marianist Catholic order, in court. https://www.facebook.com/events/406451209531857/

Innocent Child of the Village Event

The date was set for the 20th April. The waiting was drawing to a close and I was looking forward contributing to furthering the protection of other potential victims. To mark the event I planned a gathering at Altona Beach to raise awareness if Childhood Sexual Abuse.                                                                  As the time of the trial was coming close our family was engulfed in a disaster of what seemed, at the time, meteorologic proportions. My youngest daughter was hit by a car which resulted in a severe spinal fractures requiring intensive surgery and blood transfusions. I have never been so frightened in all of my life, putting the worry about my court appearance into brutal perspective.

Interpretation of my Daughter's love for
each other

              On the day that the trial began, I was in one hospital emergency department waiting for my daughter to be transferred to the neurological unit of another hospital. During this time I had the honour to witness the astounding connection between two sisters. I was blown away by the strength, compassion and love that was openly expressed by my daughters to each other. The tangible beauty of there relationship offered peace and calmness at this most terrifying time. I experienced their transference of positive energy  as a warm protective blanket that was filled with infinite love. I sound like a total hippy but I am saying it exactly as it happened for me. It can be strange and wonderful how life can throw challenges that might seem insurmountable, until you actually experience them. I knew that my daughters were strong, intelligent young women but on this day I stepped back in awe. Amongst the terror they embodied everything that I ever wished to be myself. Their confidence, courage, empathy and heroism informed me that my days of mothering children was over and I was now in a relationship with glorious adult beings. I believe that I have a great deal to learn from them. My youngest daughter is walking but still in recovery after 9 months of constant pain. Her inner strength and sense of dignity continues to shine through and she has her big sister and the rest of us to accompany her as best we can on this very difficult journey.

           Through the exhaustion and worry of long days and nights in the neuro unit, I was soon required to pull up my boot straps and prepare for my time in court but as I had mentioned earlier, life had been shockingly put into perspective. This lessened my fear and made me all the more determined to carry through with the trial and all that this entailed. I knew that I had the love and support of my family which helped me to deal with this horrendous time. I also created art almost constantly. This enabled me to process my emotions and act as a distraction which helped pass time and calm my anxiety. I was overwhelmed during the trial as my youngest son bravely read out a statement that he wrote on behalf of himself and his siblings. I felt so incredibly proud so watch his courage in motion. On 24th July, Hartman was sentenced to 3 years with 1 year suspended meaning that he will spend 2 years in jail for years and years and pain and suffering suffered not only me but others as well. This is nowhere near justice but a start. He is now on a sex registry which will continue when he re-enters the United States. This is a victory that I am proud of and I wish to acknowledge everyone who assisted this triumph. I particularly wish to honor my youngest son's bravery at making his impact statement during the trial. Although painful in the extreme to witness, he offered me never before realized consequences of a life time of pain experienced by my children as a result of Hartman's abuse upon me all those years ago. I still find it shocking that I needed to fight so hard for so long despite having received an apology letter from Hartman back in 1999. http://www.post-gazette.com/news/world/2015/07/25/Marianist-brother-who-taught-at-North-Catholic-gets-2-year-term-for-sex-abuse-in-Australia/stories/201507250054

I continuously insisted on Hartman's guilt and followed through on my fierce instinct to protect further potential victims, by utilizing the media. As a result, other victims in Melbourne were  came forward and finally had a voice and the authorities in the U.S are now more than aware of not only Hartman's barbaric behaviour but of the assaults on other children by other Marianist brothers. To date 157 victims have come forward about 31 perpetrators all from the same order who worked in the same school. It is astounding what can be achieved when rightful anger is positively executed.

 



The next period in the 2015 story was much less stressful than the first 7 months. We celebrated an 80th, 40th and 21st birthday all in the space of 4 weeks and I could now concentrate on my counselling career.

Australian Indoor Lacrosse World Championship Representative

My family and I had the pleasure of watching my eldest son on television as he represented Australia in the World Indoor Lacrosse Championships in the U.S.  Due to the time difference, the games were all held in the wee dark hours of the night, Australian time, which led to some very thrilling, middle of the night, cheer squad sessions in my living room. Every time I saw him on the screen I got little butterflies in my tummy. It was thrilling and we were all so very proud of him

I had the honor of being asked to be the Master 

The Hero's Journey Exhibition

of Ceremonies at a fundraiser for vulnerable women and children who were being trafficked into sex slavery after the devastating earthquakes in Nepal.  http://artoflifewithmairead.blogspot.com.au/2015/08/i-was-honored-inspired-and-delighted-to.html?spref=fb
             My youngest son now has an apprenticeship with a building firm as a carpenter and is in his element. I am happy to say that he is being treated very well by his bosses who acknowledge the great work that he is achieving.
My husband is slowly coming to terms with the gravity of injuries that he received 4 and 2 years ago. His chuckley laugh and dimples always fill me with joy and hope for his and our future together. I could never have dreamt that such kind and beautiful man  existed. He has selflessly and tirelessly supports my children and I in all that we do, in the challenges and the laughs.
I am ending this year content. I have no new years resolution. I am working in a job that I love, as a peer support worker in Mental Health in a large Melbourne hospital. I love and am loved by my family and look forward to next year and the rest of my life, come what may.
Live your Bliss
Mairead